Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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