Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize