Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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