Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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