You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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