i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
God I need to hump something, right now.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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