I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
don't judge my taste in strippers
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
