My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
