i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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