I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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