No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
