If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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