So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
