He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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