I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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