haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
