I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
