remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
birth control should be required to get into college
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize