I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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