he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
