if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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