i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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