i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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