He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
