So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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