Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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