i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
