This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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