I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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