fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
