is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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