It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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