if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I love you. Go after that dick
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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