I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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