P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
