Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
third nipple confirmed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
