It's Friday. Sex?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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