ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
this hospital has no fireball
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I came so hard my ears popped.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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