what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
