when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
