And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't deserve a penis
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
