Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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