shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
