so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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