Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
