you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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