I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
