She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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