the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
