Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
