Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
