Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
