I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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