Nicole vs. Life
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
