I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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