One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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