Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
