Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
