You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
