Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
