I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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