i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
